Life doesn’t always work out the way that we hope. At some point we’ve all felt frustrated, stuck, and overwhelmed. We’ve all had moments when we’ve been unsatisfied by our relationships, felt unappreciated at work, and generally unhappy with life circumstances. Because we’ve all been there, I can tell you that it doesn’t have to stay this way. But first…
You have to figure out what’s keeping you stuck
We all carry baggage. It impacts our romantic relationships, our friendships, our career, and how we raise kids. Basically it permeates every aspect of our life. We often keep it unseen and unsorted until it’s bursting at the seams and we don’t have a choice but to face the impending disaster.
Facing the mess, sorting through it, and deciding what to keep and what to let go, can be an incredibly healing journey. Some people do this through therapy, others choose coaching or body work. Whatever your method, you do want to know what is keeping you stuck. So that you can…
Move past the stuck-ness
Once you know what is weighing you down, you have some options. The first, a very popular one, is to bury your head in the sand and “lalala” your way through it. This is a temporary fix. The second, also popular, is to dwell on it. One of the biggest critiques of therapy is that we therapists just focus on the problem, not the solution. In my work as a therapist, this couldn’t be further from the truth. I want to see my clients excel in life, not be beholden to their past.
The third option, my personal favorite, is to sort through the baggage and decide what you’re going to keep and what you can let go of. You will still have baggage when you finish with therapy but my hope is that it feels much more manageable. Perhaps it becomes more of a weekend bag than a army duffel bag. Think of how much easier it’s going to be to navigate life and your relationships like that!
Having the life and relationships you want
This requires intentionality and being the best version of you. If you’re unsatisfied with your relationship, it’s helpful to take ownership of your stuff. Then you can change YOU. Which means you can make decisions that will make this relationship more manageable and meaningful for you. If you feel unappreciated in your job, figure out what is triggering this in you (not what your boss/coworkers are doing) so that you can have a different emotional experience. I have seen people go from treading water in their relationships and life, to the emotional equivalent of holding hands on a beach in Aruba.
But change requires action. Not on someone else’s part. On your part. So you need to be ready to commit to taking action. And commit to focusing on yourself and your own mental well-being. Are you ready to take that plunge?