Don’t get me wrong, I love Netflix and Chill. But relying too heavily on that can slowly erode connection. Because, let’s face it, you’re zoned out. We use TV and movies to disconnect from the world. And half the time we’re “watching,” we’re on our phones. And four hours of binging later, you go to bed (probably too tired for sex). When we get lazy in our relationships, we get complacent. And complacency is the death of romance.

Now if you’re watching Game of Thrones (or whatever strikes your fancy) on a weekly basis and afterwards you talk about it, that can be a way of connecting and relating. Just like going out to the movies can be used as a date and a way of sparking conversation. Honestly, it’s how you use it. Is it something stimulating you and the relationship? Or is it how you decompress and disconnect?

Because when we go down the rabbit hole of binge-watching, we are going down a path of disconnection. And when you need to decompress, disconnecting from the world is great. But when it comes to relationship maintenance, it can become problematic. You need more than that.

Netflix and Chill versus Date Night

Can Netlix and Chill be used as a date night? It depends on how you use movie/TV watching. For example, a movie you’re both super pumped about, that can be more date-y. Especially if you have some rituals around it that make it special. But if it feels really lazy, beware. Occasional laziness is understandable. But if the laziness has become habitual, you might be in for trouble down the road.

Romance and passion require novelty. So if you want to avoid or bust out of the roommate syndrome, I’d recommend going on dates. Studies have shown that couples who try new things together have greater relationship satisfaction. The more satisfied you are in your relationship, the more likely that you are having amazing sex.

You don’t have to go sky-diving to spice up your sex life. Depending on your interests, it could be checking out a play or concert, taking a cooking class, dancing lessons, visiting local museums, eating out at a restaurant, or some seasonal activity. If you’re really pressed for time, you can make errands fun. My husband and I love this one restaurant in his old neighborhood and so whenever we have a long day of errands in that neck of the woods, we go there. When we’re out, we have different conversations than the ones we have at home.

If money is tight, there are a million creative date ideas. Maybe you make a fun meal at home. Check out activities in the local park. Do a couples game night. Go for a bike ride together and pack a picnic. Your relationship is worth the investment, I promise. The money you spend on dating now is an investment in your future together.

Need ideas for local date nights or just a little more support in your relationship? I’d love to hear from you!